


Imperfect Illusions

by shadowkissed



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: A bunch of dates, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Boys Kissing, Dense Choi Beomgyu, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, I'm so sorry Taehyun, Law Student Choi Soobin, M/M, Paid Dating, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Whipped Choi Beomgyu, aged up maknaes, friends to strangers to lovers, party boy yeonjun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:53:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23951863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkissed/pseuds/shadowkissed
Summary: Beomgyu clearly did notthinkwhen he asked Choi Soobin to be his boyfriend for 30 days, but it was the best decision his impulsive mind could ever make, and also the worst one.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 67
Kudos: 307





	Imperfect Illusions

**(Part 1 - Attraction)**

**━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━**

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

This is it. The moment where Beomgyu feels like the bravest yet the biggest idiot in the whole universe. He wished that mother earth will grant his wish, opening this ground where he’s standing to swallow him whole.

That way, he won’t have to see the way Soobin’s face morphs from its curious one, to this confounded one and then a questioning one. _God_ , if there’s disgust present somewhere on his gorgeously sculpted face, Beomgyu might bolt away from there. Nobody will ever hear about his name again because he will change his whole identity and nationality out of shame.

“Choi Beomgyu, right?”

The fact that he does not even know for sure who is this guy dragging him around makes Beomgyu’s heart deflate a little more. The poor guy must be so confused when he suddenly showed up at the table where he ate with his friends. It’s just that he is too nice to refuse a request from this barely familiar face.

It’s his wishful thinking, expecting Soobin to still be nice to him when he was the one who started to avoid him the moment they entered college. If only he had behaved like normal person would to his crush instead of pushing him away, maybe he wouldn’t get driven to this lowest point of his life.

The shameful moment where he is almost rejected by the nicest guy in the campus.

“That’s me.”

He peers down at the gravels under his shoes, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he waits for the inevitable. Soobin always has this way of staring at someone with his pair of gentle eyes, making him shrink under the stare, heart actually beating like mad inside his chest.

It’s so irritating.

Choi Beomgyu would not allow anyone make him feel like this.

“Yah, what takes you so long to answer?” he finally snaps, tipping his chin up to give himself more confidence.

Soobin blinks in confusion at the sudden change of demeanour. “Huh?”

“It’s not like I wanted you to be my boyfriend or anything—“

“You literally…”

“A month. Just for a month, be my boyfriend.”

There is a moment of silence where the only sound present is the wind blowing between them and the shifting of leaves skittering over the parking lot they are standing at. Beomgyu’s eyes are firm and relentless as he stares at Soobin’s dumbfounded one. Even as he is cursing himself inwardly.

“Is this some kind of prank?” amusement is drawn all over Soobin’s face as he says that, a smile playing on his lips. “Or a dare?”

“It’s _not_ ,” he sucks in an exasperated breath. “Actually, I have this idea for a video project, and I’m going to need a boyfriend to accomplish that. So, pretty please?”

No matter how hard he tries not to sound desperate at this point, he has stomped on his pride the moment he approached the guy back at the cafeteria. Might as well go all out.

“Video project?” he frowns, doubtful.

“Yeah, don’t question the making of an art!”

“And for a month?” Beomgyu glares at him, which elicits a small laugh from the guy. “Right. Don’t question art.”

His lips are pursed out into a pout as he starts to get discouraged. The idea is already a foul one to begin with. Something that is formed inside an already impulsive mind, then triggered by a sleepless night and three shots of espresso. There is no video project, just the fear of getting rejected.

The emotion is so raw that it jumpstarts a certain mechanism in his brain. He only gets more creative afterwards, stabbing himself mentally for every word that escapes his lips without going through a filter.

He is digging deeper with the shovel of his lies, and it’s going to bury him alive in the end.

“I’m going to pay you, and you just have to follow some instructions and act a little whenever the camera is on. Aside of that, you can just act like we are strangers.”

“Why would I do that…”

Beomgyu thrusts his hand out between them, offering a handshake. He has to swallow the shakiness in his voice, hiding how nervous he actually is. “Do we have a deal?”

With every second of silence, comes a stone sitting inside his belly, making him sick with something akin of a heartburn. When he feels the warmth of a hand welcoming his own, he expected that he could breathe in relief right there. Instead, he feels his heart drops and his lungs constricted of air for a second as he looks up into Soobin’s smile.

“Interesting. Let me hear more about your project.”

(“When I told you to find a boyfriend, I didn’t actually mean it.”

Taehyun is just sitting there with an impassive expression when he tells his best friend slash roommate that he scored a boyfriend, minus the part where he agreed to pay the guy for it. He lives for this, the glint of surprise poorly hidden in the pair of wide eyes staring at him despite Taehyun’s best attempt to hide it.

“Well, I got one, so what are you going to do now, huh, _huh_?” he closes the distance between them in the couch just to be annoying all up on his face, only to get shoved away by a hand on his forehead.

“You probably paid someone.” _oh shit, he’s sharp._

“No! It’s not someone from that Oppa Dating Service!” he rolls his eyes, getting offended even though it’s the truth.

“It’s just weird that I told you to get a boyfriend to cure your boredom, and then you _actually_ got one the following day.”

He got a point. Beomgyu hates the guy sometimes for being too critical with his thinking. Why can’t he just be happy for him?

“I’ve had a crush on this guy for a while though…” he says with a pout. This time he is not lying.

Sensing the change of tone, Taehyun finally drops the questioning session. He sighs before producing a small smile on his lips.

“Who is the unlucky guy?”)

“Soobin.”

He acknowledges the guy as he hurried towards where he’s sitting inside the small café by their campus, waving off his apology for being late. “Just sit down. I bought our drinks already.”

Never did Beomgyu expect to be sitting face to face with _the_ Choi Soobin again, especially not in this kind of scenario.

They had been classmates for all three years of high school. While Beomgyu was the loud one in the class who went out to play soccer outside the class every recess and spent his free time in a school band, Soobin was the class president who was adored by both students and teachers alike. Due to the differences of their friend circles, they were never supposed to be friends, yet they grew closer during the last year of high school where they always stayed at school until late at night to study.

It was a simple crush, one that Beomgyu expected to fade away as they grew up and got busy with college. He didn’t expect his heart to remember how it felt back then, as it flutters shamelessly inside his chest the moment Soobin agreed to ‘date’ him.

It’s just curiosity, he excuses himself, it will disappear once everything ends.

“Ready for the details?”

Soobin nods, eyeing the scattered papers and a notebook perched on the desk before them. A single paper with a list is pushed towards him, while Beomgyu takes a sip of his iced Americano, eyes never leaving him.

“You got the whole plan ready,” he says in amazement.

“I told you it’s for a project! The whole thing was planned already, so I just needed someone to do it with me.”

That is totally a lie. Beomgyu is just going to sit there and act like he did not spend another sleepless night to brainstorm the imaginary project after Soobin agreed to his plan. Sure, there is a final project for his filmography class, but he could not use it as an escape from the awkward moment where the person he confessed to barely remembered his name.

Nobody needs to know that part.

After scanning through the rough draft of the bucket list, Soobin finally lifts his gaze. “So, what do I have to do?”

“Act like you’re my boyfriend whenever the camera is on.”

“Yeah, but, what kind of boyfriend would you like to have?” he asks, resting his chin on top of his hand as he stares at Beomgyu. His lips curled into a smile, as if he’s enjoying the whole thing—as if Beomgyu is not currently dying inside. The fact that Beomgyu has always found the shape of his lips pretty does not help him in this situation at all.

“Just… act naturally! Like I’m your actual boyfriend. Don’t need to be pressured to act well or anything, since it will just make you look forced,” he instructs, somehow feeling proud of himself for sounding like he’s educated about video directing.

Seeking a way to direct his attention away from the male, Beomgyu takes out his camera from its bag. He tinkers with it a little, flipping the screen to make it face himself and start making faces at it. That only lasts for a short moment, until he hears a laughter from _beside_ him.

There’s a warmth pressing against his side, followed by fingers circling his wrist to tilt the camera in the angle that catches both of them in the small rectangular screen.

“Now that’s more like it, wait—“Soobin gasps as he accidentally touches a button that starts the recording, blinking a few times before smiling at Beomgyu, and then back to the camera. “Hello?”

“Idiot. You really can’t wait to get in camera?” he says with a grin, eyes still cast on the screen as he tries not to get flustered by the turn of event.

“I actually look good in there, so I can’t say no to that,” Soobin laughs. “Let’s see, what should we talk about? Isn’t this our first day as boyfriends?”

Beomgyu wills the heat to go down from his cheeks, opting to turn his head to look at Soobin instead, glaring at him. “Is it?”

Bad decision. The way Soobin is leaning closely to him to get captured by the camera leaves not much space between them, and Beomgyu nearly forgets how to breathe when Soobin is also looking at him. The proximity of their faces enables him to feel a soft breath against his cheek when the guy scoffs. Eyes crinkling in amusement. He’s enjoying this while Beomgyu is trying not to die.

“Why? Dumping me already?”

As he says that, Soobin leans in to close the distance between their faces. Beomgyu can’t even blink when he feels the touch of Soobin’s nose against his own, booping gently for a split second before he pulls away with a smile. It’s a brief contact, yet it sets his skin ablaze from the inside.

Beomgyu is convinced that it is how he dies.

The camera falls with a thud onto the table, and he is momentarily distracted as he screams, making sure his ‘beloved baby’ is not scratched or dented. Soobin’s laughter tinkling in the background.

(“Choi Soobin? Law student Choi Soobin?” Taehyun eyes him incredulously for a second, before a scoff escapes him. “There’s no way you could know him in the first place.”

“He was my classmate in high school!”

“Okay? That gives you like 3% higher chance to date him. “

It’s so hard not to get offended now. Beomgyu whacks his friend on the arm for doubting that he at least deserves to date someone as good as Choi Soobin. It’s not like Beomgyu is some kind of freak that no one wanted to date.

“And you think you’d have a bigger possibility to date him?” he yells now, earning a shove of pillow on his face. It makes him fall back on his bed midway on his attack to strangle the very owner of the bed.

“Nope. It’s just that the person is Choi Soobin.”

“So?”

“He doesn’t really date.”

“Now he does, apparently.”

“Even when he got very close to this one girl from debate club and got rumoured to be dating for months, they never ended up dating.”

“Love can’t be forced, Taehyun-ah—“

“Why would he settle for you?”

“HEY!” Beomgyu really launches himself to attack the younger this time, wrestling him on the bed until they both end up sprawled on the floor. Taehyun’s joyful laughter is filling the room while he is still scowling and attempting to pull his roommate into a headlock.

He only speaks again once his laughter dies down.

“Okay, fine. Now that I know it’s not a random shady guy, I can be happy for you.”

Taehyun actually sounds genuine there that the scowl is erased from Beomgyu’s lips, replaced by a small smile and pleasant warmth spreading in his chest. Throwing his arms around the younger male, he resists the push on his chest as he is filled with a sudden affection towards his best friend who usually never says this sort of thing.

“Taehyunnie really loves me, huh?” Beomgyu says with his voice raised a pitch higher, like he is talking to a baby. “Will he cry when I go?”

At this, Taehyun really shoves his face an arm length away from his.

“Okay so, invite me to thirdwheel next time. He is my idol from debate club.”)

He told Taehyun _soon_ , but he never intended it to happen this soon.

It’s started off as a beautiful day, but Beomgyu feels the blood drained from his system the moment the two walk out of the library. He almost bumps into a solid chest, tripping on his own feet as he stumbles back to avoid the impact. The hand holding his elbow is what preventing him from sending poor Taehyun into the floor along with him.

“Oh, it’s you,” Soobin says, smiling at him. “Didn’t think I’d meet you here.”

“I needed a book,” he replies softly, dreading the moment that Taehyun would recognize the other male and…

“Soobin sunbaenim?”

There he goes.

“Taehyun? I told you just to call me hyung!” Soobin is directing his attention towards Taehyun now, and Beomgyu wishes that he can just disappear. His whole existence and everything.

“I’ll take the chance then, especially since we got a mutual,” Taehyun glances at him, before looking up at Soobin again. “Should I leave? Since you two are…”

There is a hint of confusion drawn over Soobin’s face. That split second is already a giveaway, especially for someone so sharp like Taehyun. It takes a little too slow for the realization to settle into Soobin’s head, and the idiot only managed to come up with a single response.

“Oh—“

“Right! I think you can leave first, Tae. I have something to talk about with this guy,” Beomgyu shrinks under the squint from his best friend. It appears that he is not as good as he expected either. “I mean, my boyfriend. Bye!”

With that lousy acting from the both of them, Beomgyu links his arm with Soobin’s, dragging him into the library that he was just going to leave. Once he makes sure that they are in the quietest corner of the library, under the preening eyes of thick encyclopaedia books, Beomgyu detaches himself from the latter.

“Sorry about that, I just kinda told my roommate that we are—“

“Dating?” Soobin cuts him. A smirk is playing on his lips like he’s enjoying his struggle. “Like, actually?”

“I can’t really tell him that I paid you to do those stuff with me. It’s a weird concept, you know? Paying someone to date you? I get that it’s for a project but…”

“I don’t mind, really.”

“He’s going to mock me for years if I told him. But I get it if you’re uncomfortable by this, should we just—“

“Beomgyu,” Soobin calls out to him with a firmer voice now, gathering his attention at once from his train of thoughts that was all tangled in his head. He peers up at the taller male, biting his lip. “I said I don’t mind.”

Now, he’s the baffled one. “You don’t? This could be serious, you know. More people will know that we’re dating and even once we separated, we’ll still be known as exes.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad, honestly.”

“Why are you so… never mind,” Beomgyu exhales an exasperated sigh, ignoring a questioning look from the other. “We can just keep it low-key.”

“Or we can actually date for a month, to make it more realistic in your video, you know,” he says casually, as if his brilliant idea did not just send Beomgyu’s heart straight onto the floor.

“You are crazy.”

“Do you have any other choice? Taehyun already knows about it, and more people will know too since news travels fast in this campus. We can’t just act like strangers!”

He’s got a point. Beomgyu didn’t really think of it when he was brainstorming the Boyfriend Project ideas. It would be much easier if only he didn’t chicken out and mask his confession as something else altogether. They didn’t have to fake it.

“Alright. Let’s just do it whenever people are around, okay? Act like we are boyfriends. But you don’t have to do it all the time, or we don’t even have to meet a lot, since it would be tiring for you to…” he trails off in the middle of his rambling, noticing a gentle touch on top of his head which comes from Soobin petting his head gently. His words died on his lips, as they stayed parted, but with nothing else coming out.

“Got it. So we’re acting for the audience.”

“I said only when people are around,” he hisses, nudging Soobin’s big palm with the top of his head to make it go away.

“Your friend is watching us. 9 o’clock,” Soobin says, catching his chin just in time as he almost turned his head to look at the direction pointed out to him. His eyes wide as he stares at the latter, wondering the possibility of his friend hearing his little narrations.

“He’s pretty far, so I don’t think he can hear us. You just got yourself a little stalker.”

Beomgyu groans in exasperation, squeezing his eyes shut to fix the jumbled mess in his head. Now he has to come up with a way to get out of this. Before he can think about anything, he feels a gentle touch on his cheek, way too close to a corner of his lips. The soft, plush lips pressed up to his skin are moving along with Soobin’s voice that is speaking to him.

“Let’s talk about boundaries next time we meet, okay?” he whispers against Beomgyu’s skin, nuzzling his cheek lovingly before he pulls away with a smile.

And then he is gone.

When Beomgyu looks up, Taehyun is not anywhere inside the library anymore. He is considered lucky as no one is present around this deserted area of the library to witness him freaking out over a kiss on the cheek.

(“Beomgyu hyung here is dating Soobin sunbaenim,” Taehyun says out of the blue, snapping Beomgyu out of whatever episode of daydream he’s brewing in his head.

When he blinks his eyes to face the reality again, a certain Huening Kai is already joining them where they are sitting at the campus lounge. The freshman is now staring at him curiously with a pair of big eyes that match Taehyun’s. These two make such interesting pair of friends.

“Soobin and Beomgyu hyung?” Kai asks, his tone filled with surprise, but also excitement.

“Hyung didn’t tell me,” he says, earning a questioning look from the eldest in the table.

“Why would he tell you?”

“You don’t know that he’s basically Soobin’s baby?” Taehyun chimes in, an edge of smirk on his lips. It’s as if he just found something to debunk a rumor. “Weird how Hyuka is the last person to hear about this.”

The amount of trust his best friend has for him is flattering.

“You might know all these stuff about him, but you’re still not the one dating him.”

Taehyun scoffs. ”Do you even date _date_ him?”

“Stop speaking in weird codes. I’m inexperienced in this whole dating thing.”

“Like going out on date, stupid.”

Beomgyu purses his lips to a side, thinking about the scattered papers he had on his desk from the last night he spent brainstorming. Considering he has a full month worth of dates to attend, he is not too worried about that.

“You’ll be amazed.”)

Their first planned date is at an amusement park. How creative.

Soobin is a little late, so Beomgyu already goes ahead and explores the attraction site on his own. He’s in the middle of nibbling on his churros while looking at some animal headbands when he hears a series of footsteps running towards him. He looks up just in time to catch Soobin’s concerned face as he stops before him, bending over and holding onto his knees.

“Sorry I’m late! I got caught in traffic,” he says between his uneven breaths.

Seeing the tussled bed hair settled on top of Soobin’s head unlike any other day, Beomgyu is doubtful about it. He reaches out to pet the dark locks into place. “Slept well?”

A light flush spreads across Soobin’s cheeks as he got caught in the lie. He straightens up with a huff, followed by Beomgyu’s laugh.

They ended up walking down to pick their rides with animal headbands perched on their heads. Soobin’s got tiny white dog ears while Beomgyu’s are a pair of bear’s ears. The taller male complains once in a while, fixing his hair or the headband on top of his head while Beomgyu is busy with the setting of his camera.

“I’m 21 years old and I still have to wear this kind of thing?” he complains for the nth time, which earns him a roll of eyes from his date.

“They suit you, actually. Say _woof_ , puppy,” he grins, pointing the camera towards him as he reaches out to tickle his chin.

Soobin gives him a look, but as his eyes locked with the lenses, he just exhales a sigh, then breaks into laughter. The way his lips spread into a bright smile makes Beomgyu’s breath caught in his throat for a split second, unprepared for such change of expression. And then there is the sound of Soobin’s laughter as he reaches for Beomgyu’s hand.

Their fingers are linked together as they walk, almost naturally.

“So, which ride do you want to try first?” Soobin asks.

Beomgyu points at one nearest to them. The huge swinging pirate ship, with people’s screaming in the background. “Are you brave enough for that or should we find ones for babies?”

“What makes you think I can’t handle that ride?”

Despite his taller posture, Beomgyu does think that Soobin might be the type to get scared easily by rides such as this. He assumed it after several random occasions where he caught the guy jumping in place because a book fell on his side, or even just a few minutes ago where he flinches away with a tiny yelp from seeing a bunny mascot jumping out on them from nowhere.

He is proven wrong once they are at the highest point of the swinging ship.

Soobin is the one who has to hold the camera as Beomgyu is clutching onto the male’s coat, trying to hold onto the last connection of safety. His screams are stifled against Soobin’s shoulder as he buries his face there. Meanwhile he can only hear happy exclaims from his side. The guy is enjoying this to the fullest.

“Are you scared, Choi Beomgyu?” Soobin yells the question at some point.

The rush of wind through his hair and the falling sensation in his stomach makes Beomgyu’s next words end up in a choked scream. He silently curses the latter for being too happy about it, but a little thankful when the camera is pried away from his shaky hand.

He mildly registers the protective hold around his waist for the rest of the ride, brushing it off as nothing even until they step off from the ship and Beomgyu vows to never step a foot into the ride again.

“Don’t say anything,” he says as soon as he spots the playful smile on Soobin’s lips, snatching the camera from him.

They ride only milder rides after that, deciding to just get some normal footages instead of the shaky one like his first attempt of shooting during a ride. Eventually it gets a little boring for Soobin that he ends up buying them ice creams. Beomgyu looks up from monitoring the footage when a cone of strawberry ice cream is shoved in between him and the camera.

“Boyfriend break?” he tilts his head to a side.

Soobin laughs at the term. “Boyfriend break.”

The flow is actually better during this so-called ‘Boyfriend Break’. Without the camera rolling to capture their every expression and movement, they could say anything, including cursing each other whenever fits.

Soobin shows him the ice cream he got. It’s a vanilla ice cream with two smaller scoops on top and a face drawn on the side, making it look like a puppy. Soobin insists that it’s a bear, putting it next to Beomgyu’s face for comparison, before he brings it to his lips to chomp the face away in one big bite.

Beomgyu flips him off for that.

They almost forgot to end the ‘break’, proceeding to continue their journey in the amusement park with a forgotten camera bag hanging on Beomgyu’s shoulder.

Soobin failed to snatch a plushie from the claw machine for several tries, which resulted to a mini mental breakdown on the side of the road while Beomgyu laughs at him. In the end, he bought a bottle of soap bubbles just to wipe away the perpetual pout on Soobin’s sulky face, watching as his face lights up in a child-like way.

As he watches the transparent rainbow soap bubbles carried by the wind around Soobin, that’s when Beomgyu remembers to turn on his camera. It’s prettier like this, watching as his ‘boyfriend’ stands before him with soap bubbles all around him, having no clue about being filmed, until his eyes found Beomgyu’s again.

That’s when he breaks into his gentle smile, walking towards Beomgyu with his hand extended.

“It’s no fun without you, dummy. Let’s take one more ride.”

Their next ride ends up being Flume Ride, where they are launched into shallow water that splashes water all over them. Beomgyu yelps, fearing the condition of his camera as he forgot for a second that it’s waterproof. Meanwhile, Soobin can’t stop laughing next to him.

The camera captured their wet state. Damp hair sticking to their forehead and white shirts sticking into their skins. As Soobin peers into the camera, he bursts into another set of laughter, burying his face into Beomgyu’s nape and laughs breathlessly there. Beomgyu feels the falling sensation in his stomach yet again, and he is not even riding the goddamn pirate ship anymore.

Later at home, Beomgyu sticks the SD card from the camera into his computer while it’s charging. He cringes at some of his footages, especially the shaky ones that contains too much of his unflattering screams. Before he decided to get rid of the files, he noticed several moments where Soobin is staring at him instead of enjoying his rides. A rather fond smile tugging his lips as he watches Beomgyu makes an idiot of himself.

Beomgyu comes into a conclusion that he is really good at acting.

(After knowing that Beomgyu dated his precious hyung, Kai appears to relax more around him, despite being formerly intimidated by the upperclassman in the same department. He even has the audacity to join him in his personal nap corner of the art department’s lounge while he’s about to doze off to sleep.

“Are you going to Yeonjun hyung’s birthday party tomorrow?” he asks, a little too cheerfully for the sleepy haze in his head.

“Who?” he asks groggily, despite knowing the owner of the name well enough.

Choi Yeonjun, that popular guy from performing art department. Blue hair and a lot of piercings. The people hanging around him are the loudest too, and Beomgyu used to be one of them until he found out that he preferred calm evenings of binge-watching Netflix TV shows with his roommate.

“Choi Yeonjun hyung! Soobinie hyung has been excited about it since the invitation!”

Of course Soobin just _had_ to be Yeonjun’s friend, too. He couldn’t even imagine the two knowing each other with such different circles of friends and ways of having fun. But apparently he’s also wrong about Choi Soobin since he appears to be expecting the party.

“I thought you’d know already since you two are dating,” Kai says in wonder. That instantly wakes him up from his straying thoughts and shallow doze.

“Right, a little weird that Beomgyu hyung is not invited, huh?” Taehyun suddenly joins in, sitting on the floor next to them.

As Beomgyu finds his eyes, he can see the challenge flashing towards him. A week into this whole dating thing, and he still has not convinced his best friend.

“Of course I’m coming,” he says, a little offended in tone. “I just don’t want you two to bother us.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t even talk to you guys if we see you making out somewhere,” Taehyun deadpans. Kai nods eagerly.

The mention of making out almost makes him choke on his heart jumping to his throat, but he swallows it back, tipping his chin up in a smug way. “You’ll see.”)

In contrary to that brave statement he made just the previous day, Beomgyu has been fearing the chance of meeting Soobin from the first second he steps into the place. He made attempt to dress up nicely for this, borrowing Taehyun’s combat pants and throwing on a random red sweater that turns out to be too short in length – suspiciously looking like a crop sweater. Despite that, he makes no attempt to be seen, disappearing into the backyard near the swimming pool where he spots a group of friends playing some drinking game.

This is a whole new circle of friend, and he doesn’t expect his friends nor Soobin to spot him there. Not even the birthday boy who is busy to attend to everyone congratulating him inside the house.

It’s just his luck that he had to bring himself back inside on his own accord. After losing the game three times in a row and chugging in the awful excuse of piss cocktail from random solo cups, he ventures back into the house, seeking for the kitchen for a cup of water.

He passes both Taehyun and Kai, who are too busy bickering over mixtapes to properly engage him in a conversation, and disappears into the kitchen. The thrumming of songs is quieter here, and Beomgyu washes away the taste of the alcohol with cold water.

What he didn’t expect is for another presence to join him, creeping behind him and grabbing his shoulders with a silent _‘boo!’_

The cup almost crashes to the floor in pieces if it’s not for Soobin’s quick reflex, catching it in time and throwing a surprised look at Beomgyu. “What are you so jumpy for?”

Beomgyu grumbles, cursing his luck that he has to see the face he avoids the most.

“Piss beer.”

“Understandable.”

“And just, friends,” he gestures towards the door of the kitchen that’s left ajar. Soobin arches a brow at this. “Half of these people think that we’re dating.”

“Just like how we want them to,” he nods.

“So we’ll have to act like boyfriends.”

“That’s doable.”

“And make out.”

“Okay,” Soobin nods again, only to do a double take the next second and blinks. “Wait, what?”

“Taehyun expected us to make out here, like normal couples, probably,” he gestures to the living room with his chin. He didn’t even get to count how many couples and instant couples coming here just to find a way to show PDA.

A pensive looks form in Soobin’s face as he is deep in thought for a moment, lips twisted to a side. “That reminds me. We haven’t talked about boundaries.”

“Let’s talk about it, then,” Beomgyu shrugs nonchalantly, taking the cup of water back from Soobin’s hand to distract himself by sipping the water.

“Holding hands should be okay. Some whispering and touching, sorry if you’re comfortable by these though.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Kisses?” Soobin suggests. Beomgyu feels his cheeks warming up at this.

“Nope!”

“Okay then, we can manage fake kisses.”

“Fake kisses, okay.”

“Picking up each other from classes?”

At this point, Beomgyu’s head starts to throb with an indescribable feeling. He squeezes his eyes shut, unable to control his train of thought that’s flowing right into his mouth without any filter.

“You remember that we’re faking everything, right? That we are not dating, or even friends?” he asks, regretting how his voice sounds too cold. But he can’t stop now. “We don’t have to meet that much. Just enough to convince our dumbass friends and make footages.”

Soobin frowns at the sudden change of demeanour. “It’s just for a month, so might as well…”

“No,” he cuts sharply.

“What’s wrong with you? You were the one who suggested this.” There’s an exasperated sigh, and Beomgyu averts his gaze away, unable to tell him the truth.

That the crush he had on Soobin might develop into something more dangerous if this keeps going.

That he is doing this in a borrowed time. It would kill him to leave if he gets any more attached to the guy.

“You might fall in love with me,” he says instead, reaching out to give a light tap on Soobin’s chest right atop his heart. “Don’t do that.”

Soobin stares at him with a pensive look for a little too long, to the point that he starts shifting on his feet. And then the guy has the audacity to laugh, taking the hand from his chest as a leverage to tug Beomgyu out from their little hideout.

“I got it. We draw the line at fake kisses?”

“Hard line,” Beomgyu agrees.

He really does, yet he is the one who breaks it.

It happens as they are talking in the middle of the room, ignoring the people around them and the everchanging music. Beomgyu is sitting at the backrest of a couch, with his legs dangling off the edge, not reaching the floor. As they whisper and laugh to each other in their own little world, Soobin has scooted between his legs, inching closer just to hear what he has to say.

Beomgyu is drinking another cup of the strawberry flavoured beer, scanning the room for once while Soobin is whispering to his ear and laughing about how drunk Yeonjun must be by now. The said birthday guy is currently having an impromptu dance battle, which does not look as appealing as his usual moves on stage. Shifting his gaze to the other side of the room, he can see more people leaving the place, either hurriedly with their significant other, or just sleepily. He considers to join the latter group, when he finally caught a sight of Huening Kai. The boy’s face lightens as he spots them, ready to make his way across the room.

 _“Kai is basically Soobin’s baby_ ” Taehyun’s voice rings inside his mind, making him scoff. Suddenly his brain is replaced by cotton, fluffy and lightweight and unable to think.

Before he knows it, his fingers are reaching for Soobin’s shirt, gaining his attention as he tugs the taller male closer. He sees a confounded look, and the plush lips forming a question, but he does not let the voice to reach his ears as he pulls Soobin down into a kiss.

The kiss tastes like cheap beer and artificial strawberry flavouring, but it tastes perfect on his tongue.

That’s how he knows that he’s been digging his own grave, and right now he’s plunging himself straight into the hole, slipping into the void.

(Beomgyu wakes up with a headache the next day, sleeping on his couch instead of his bed. He blinks groggily, welcomed by Taehyun’s scrutinizing gaze.

“I’m just letting you know that I believe it now,” he says out of the blue, causing more threads to become a tangled mess in Beomgyu’s drowsy head. “That you and Soobin hyung are dating.”

 _Surprise_. His best friend trusts him when Beomgyu does not even trust himself about that.

“What took you so long?” he asks, voice deep from sleep.

Instead of answering, Taehyun puts a glass of water on the coffee table and leaves the living room. For some reasons, he is convinced that his roommate won’t be bothering him about this anymore for a long time now. At least until he tells him the truth.

At the very end of this stupid little endeavour.)

**( Part 2 – Infatuation )**

**━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━**

From this point onwards, it’s less about convincing other people, and more about trying not to fool himself into forgetting the true nature of this _relationship_.

“You do know that you’re supposed to be my boyfriend only when the camera is on, right?”

“Yeah, record it right now. I’m going to make it up for the last time!” Soobin proudly shows him the coins he purchased.

Beomgyu has visited this arcade to play with his friends countless of times since high school, yet this is the first time that someone is coming there solely for the claw machine. Remembering how he fails each time last time he tried this at the amusement park, it’s going to be another entertainment. That’s the only reason he agrees to film it with his phone camera.

If he thought that someone can’t be this unlucky, he is proven wrong as Soobin failed his fifth try, almost succumbing into another breakdown right there.

Sighing, he taps the stop button for the recording, picking a coin to plunge it into the machine. As the song starts playing again, Soobin lifts his gaze from where he has already crouched down with his face pressed to his knees.

“Now, watch the pro do it.”

It only takes two tries for him to deliver the little bear plushie into the box, and he cheers triumphantly as it drops. Soobin is watching him with his eyes wide and jaws open as he picks the toy and shows it off to him.

“Wait, I should’ve recorded you! Do it again!”

Beomgyu frowns. “Why would you record me?”

“For your video, of course.”

“I’m not really the star of the video, idiot. It’s you, starring as my boyfriend. It’s not my fault that you suck at this.”

“Do it again!”

Beomgyu ignores him as he grabs the rest of the coins and ventures deeper into the arcade. His eyes light up at the nostalgia he feels from looking at the games. When Soobin gives up the idea of filming and joining him in picking a game, they somehow settled on a dare.

“Basketball, highest score,” Soobin says. “The prize is dinner and that bear plushie.”

“Bring it on.”

“Just so you know, I’m really good at this!” Soobin says, and he is really not good at it despite his bluff, yet Beomgyu is still defeated at the end of the game. He blames it on the 5cms advantage Soobin has over it, which makes the latter laugh and pet his head in a rather mocking way.

He hates how much he is enjoying the comfort coming from the pets on his hair instead of loathing it.

They ended up ordering take out chicken to eat by the river. The grass is scratchy under his pants, but he ignores it after a while, immersed in telling a story about the time he removed his wisdom teeth. It’s only when he realizes that he’s been talking too much that he shuts up, earning a questioning hum from his date when he pushes the rest of the chicken towards him.

“You know, dinner and arcade are on the list. I should’ve brought my camera along.”

“Well then, let’s just make it a bonus session? You’re still paying for my time today anyway,” he says, gesturing to the boxes of chicken before them.

“Still, I’m not getting as much as I expected,” he mumbles to himself, exhaling a sigh as he throws himself back to lie down on top of the grass. That’s when he notices Soobin’s eyes on him, making him feel bad at once for his constant complaining. “It’s not your fault, though. I’m just sucks at this.”

“Didn’t you win that video competition last year?”

“You know about it?” he asks meekly.

“I noticed your name.”

Coughing softly, Beomgyu takes his phone out to distract himself, opening his camera application to see if it can catch anything under the poor lighting of the park. The night view is pretty decent, but it’s still not the quality he wanted for his content. He tinkers with the settings a little, while ignoring the noises made by Soobin packing their trash on his side. Only as he feels extra warmth pressed to his side that he is aware of his surrounding again, and that’s too late as he caught Soobin joining him on the frame of the video.

“Oh that actually looks good,” he smiles, reaching out to take the phone so that it films them in a steady angle. “We look good.”

Beomgyu scoffs. “It’s not like we can do anything with this footage. There’s nothing aesthetic about getting chicken together or lying down on a grassy field.”

“This can be a date under the starry night.”

At the suggestion, Beomgyu looks ahead past the screen of his phone to stare at the night sky blanketing over them. It’s a pitch black tapestry aside from a single crescent moon and two blinking little stars. He throws a pointed look at the latter.

“We can’t see the stars in the city, idiot.”

Soobin laughs. “Use your imagination for a bit, can’t you? Close your eyes.”

“This sounds stupid…” he eyes him doubtfully, only to have a sharp elbow digging to his side. “Jeez. Fine, but I’m still not using this silly footage.”

There is not much light to lose as he shuts his eyes, only tethered to the reality by Soobin’s warmth on his side and the movement of his chest rising and falling from his breathing. The late autumn wind makes him want to curl up and hide under a blanket, but Soobin’s deep, calming voice creates an atmosphere akin to crackling fireplace wood and marshmallows on hot chocolate, and Beomgyu forgets about everything else. Including the not-so-suitable place they are lying on.

“Imagine that we’re at the beach, in Daegu. That’s your hometown, right? The stars should be more apparent there—“

“Daegu is a big city.”

“Just shut up. Now you can see the stars scattered in the sky. Some are twinkling more obviously than the others, but only one draws you in. That one, you call your guardian star. Once you found it, it’s easier to see everything else. The Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, and then if you cast your view a little lower, you’ll be lucky to catch the Cassiopeia, or even Perseus.”

This is such a silly idea, yet Beomgyu can see the picture clearly in the back of his eyelids. The soothing voice is painting a pretty picture of twinkling stars and conjoined constellations in the darkness of his sight. It’s a new kind of stargazing.

His lips parted with a soft exhale of sigh. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you. I tried,” Soobin shakes with a soft laughter, interrupted by his own gasp as he must have shaken the phone camera out of focus. “Okay, let’s go on. If you want to see Hercules, you can look a little to the left. He’s pretty big and rude. Hard to miss.”

“Just like you?”

“Ouch?”

Beomgyu laughs, then turns his head to look to his left where Soobin is lying next to him. When he opens his eyes, he regrets it instantly, finding his gaze locked with a pair of deep eyes staring at him.

“What are you doing?” he asks, trying hard not to let his voice coming out shakily.

“Stargazing.”

There is an insult ready to roll off his tongue, only to be swallowed back down as his face burns at the implication he caught. The heat on his cheek is slowly going down, settling deep inside his chest in a dangerous fire that makes his heart ache.

And Soobin. Soobin is the fuel that keeps it ignited. As if aware of the power he holds, the pair of beautiful lips are parted again, mouthing something at him.

The mortification is real in his system right now, and he is about to freak out anytime soon or succumb into the temptation to capture those lips into a kiss, when the phone suddenly falls down onto his tummy. He’s jerked out of the trance right away, blinking rapidly and picking up the device.

Soobin’s laugh is ringing on his side. “My hand got tired, but they, I hope that’s _something_ in there! Since you looked a little troubled for not being productive.

The video is saved automatically when he unlocks his phone. All the warmth ripped away from him since Soobin is already sitting down, and suddenly he is cold again.

He only checks the video later at night, under his blanket as he tries to fall asleep. The video is so quiet aside from Soobin’s narrating voice, and it almost lulls him to sleep, if it’s not for the very last scene appeared on the screen before the video got cut abruptly.

If he doubted it back then, now he is certain that Soobin’s lips mouthed _I love you_ to him.

He is really doing so much for this so-called project.

The first sprout of fear blooms right there, as he tucks his phone aside and curls under his blanket. As much as he wants it to be _real_ , he is aware that his whole connection with Soobin is based on a lie and fakery. He just wished that he hadn’t been such a coward.

_There are eighteen days left of this perfect illusion._

-

Nothing is going right with the plan he made, and Beomgyu thinks that this is just the universe’s way to punish him for coming up with such a dumb plan. The plan for the day is to go out fishing, and they are ready with their whole outfits and equipment, only to run back home after the rain drizzle violently on them not five minutes after they walked out of the sanctuary of his apartment.

Beomgyu is whining as they walk inside, while Soobin is just laughing, accepting whatever change of clothes thrown by the owner of the place for him.

Soobin looks so out of place in his bedroom. Beomgyu notices it as he walks into the room after taking a quick warm shower for a little heat, spotting the guy sitting on the floor in the centre of the room while holding his guitar. He is wearing a plain black shirt and a pair of sweatpants that hang a little too far up his shins when he’s sitting.

“I can tell that you don’t have a clue on how to play it,” Beomgyu says, straddling his study chair and resting his chin on the backrest as he peers down at the taller male.

A single note sounds in the room, a chord strummed by the pretty fingers pressing onto the strings. Just for that alone, Soobin is looking up at him with a smug smile. “I’m actually good at this despite being a beginner.”

“You always say that and end up embarrassing yourself.”

“Not true!”

Since he sounds so confident, Beomgyu does not have the heart to take the instrument away from him. He opts to check on his drenched camera bag, drying off the parts while random notes are playing in the background, never blend in harmony for a song. Only as he noticed the camera pointing at him that Soobin finally lifts his head. His lips pouted and brows furrowed.

“Look at my loser showing off his guitar skill,” he teases.

“Stop that. Boyfriend time is already cancelled!”

He cracks up at how sulky the other gets, setting up the camera on a tripod to capture the way Soobin is still focusing on the instrument. The visual is great, and he is sure he can use this footage for the aesthetic purpose only if he removes the sound. Especially when he finds it hard to stifle his laughter as Soobin keeps messing up the chords.

“If you know how to play this better, you can just show me instead of making fun of me,” he snaps in the end, shoving the guitar aside sulkily.

It’s still too entertaining for Beomgyu that it sets his mood into a better one than from the start of the day, so he agrees to it. The camera is still rolling as he slides off the chair onto the floor, crawling towards the taller male and sitting down between his spread legs. He scoots backwards until his back meets Soobin’s solid chest. His guitar perched on top of his lap.

“Here, really?” he hears the question from behind him. Soobin is tensed on the few body parts of theirs that are touching, but Beomgyu couldn’t care less about it.

“Shut up.”

The complaints die down as he strums a chord on the string. This time, it’s naturally followed by more notes, entangled into a beautiful melody that is filling the room. He can feel Soobin relaxing behind him, can feel his breathing against the side of his neck as the male peers over his shoulder to where his fingers are working on the strings.

The notes falter into an ugly tone when he feels a weight resting on his shoulder, and followed by a pair of arms circling around his waist. The once beautiful melody is distorted now.

“Yah, what are you doing?” he chides, carefully hiding the stutter in his words.

“The camera is rolling,” Soobin says lazily. “It’s cold and I’m sleepy. So this is comfy.”

“You’re supposed to pay attention to my guitar skill and praise me afterwards.”

There is no answer, and Beomgyu assumes that Soobin has fallen asleep from the way his breathing deepens, evening up where it is slowly blowing over his neck. He sighs softly, deciding to keep himself busy by playing more gentle notes on his guitar as a lullaby for his guest.

When Soobin is woken up, it’s an hour later, and it’s only because Beomgyu moves to put his guitar away. His legs fell asleep under the weight of the instrument, but at least he tried to not shake Soobin off his little nap. And failed.

“The camera is off. I forgot to replace the battery, so it’s dead.”

Soobin makes a little noise as he stretches his arms out, quickly returning them back around Beomgyu’s waist before he can crawl away from the trap. The smaller male makes a disgruntled noise in return, despite giving in pretty quickly by how he leans back into the comfort.

“I just told you—“

“’m sorry. Were we supposed to film something just now?”

The voice is still deep, laced with drowsiness. Beomgyu tilts his body so he can catch his gaze, pressing his lips together into a thin line to not break into a smile at how soft and adorable Soobin looks. This is not the charismatic debate club’s vice president Choi Soobin that everyone knows at the campus. This view is reserved only for him.

“Not really. You did say that boyfriend time is cancelled,” he says.

“We don’t seem to record a lot of things. It’s been two weeks.” _Ah. It’s been that long?_ “Do you think we’ll need to extend the time so we can go through everything on your list?”

Beomgyu chews on his lower lip as he turns his body back to face the front, heaving his back against Soobin’s front. It’s not that the offer does not tempt him. He has just gotten used with the whole dating façade and they are not doing so well in sticking to schedules.

It’s that he _can’t_.

When the rain has ceased to pour outside of the window and Soobin is awaken enough to notice the time, Beomgyu kicks him out of the apartment. They only spare enough time to bicker by the doorway before he slams the door closed right in front of his face the moment Taehyun walks out of his room.

“I don’t even want to ask. Don’t mind me,” he says, grabbing a bottle from the fridge before disappearing back into his room.

The ghost of Soobin’s presence still sticks in his room when Beomgyu comes back inside; from the forgotten wired earphones on the floor, to the crease of the carpet where he had been sitting. As he sits down at the desk, his computer flashes to live. It still opens on the email he was reading the previous night.

A confirmation of his transfer to a university in Berlin.

The offer came two months ago, something that he gained from the random video of his that won that competition. Before this whole thing started, he was more than ready to leave this city and everything else he had built. He just did not expect that the first seed of doubt will be planted by someone he accidentally involved.

This is the reason why his fake relationship, or any other relationship he forms during this month is bound to be doomed, as he is scheduled to fly out of the country on the last day of the month.

_There are fourteen days left of this perfect illusion._

-

“Here you go.”

Soobin looks up from where he is tapping on his phone, face confused for a bit before he noticed Beomgyu holding out his earphones to him by the wire. His face lights up at once. Beomgyu does not want to assume whether it’s because of the presence of the very important device or him.

“Took you long enough to give it back!” he complains despite his grin.

“This part of the campus is too far, and it’s not like we see each other every day,” Beomgyu scoffs in return.

“Oh, you don’t?”

They freeze as another voice joins the conversation. The owner is a silver haired guy who’s sitting next to Soobin, barely noticed because he’s buried deep under the thick book he is reading. Probably catching up last minute before an important test judging from the way he looks super stressed out.

“I thought new couples see each other like every second of the day. How sickening.”

“Don’t worry, hyung. We’re not like that,” Soobin laughs.

“Yeah, you just made out on my couch. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

If there is a space under the bench, Beomgyu would already crawl and hide down there. He appears to miss the timing to leave already, since now he is trapped in an exchange he does not want to be a part of.

“Do you want to join the debate club gathering?” now, this question is directed at him. Beomgyu blinks a few times as he stares at the senior.

“Me? I’m not in debate club.”

“It’s for coordinators and plus ones.”

“There’s literally nothing like that,” Soobin deadpans.

That earns a roll of eyes from Yeonjun, who sulkily shoves the book into Soobin’s lap. “Alright, it’s cause this whipped guy here said that he did not want to join if you don’t come.”

Beomgyu blinks a few times, glancing at the mentioned guy who keeps making unexplainable faces at him before looking back at Yeonjun. “Is it allowed, though? Me?” he asks, pointing at himself.

“Just cause Soobin is an important member. Besides, it might open the opportunity to have you join the club!”

At this point, Soobin is making subtle gestures that he can only decipher as _no_. His face is pleading as he looks at Beomgyu, almost desperate, begging him to save him from the predicament.

So Beomgyu does the contrary and accepts the invitation.

When he leaves the two, he hears footsteps running after him, just before a hand grabs his shoulder. For a second, he fears the possibility of Soobin cornering him for making him lose the sole excuse not to attend the club gathering, but it turns out to be something else altogether.

“Kiss,” he says simply. “Make it natural. You really don’t know how to boyfriends, huh?”

Beomgyu’s cheeks are flushed, half from the shame and the other half is for dreading what comes next. It happens before he can expect anything, Soobin leaning in close enough for the kiss, until Beomgyu freaks out and hisses. “Fake only,” he warns, a forcefully sweet smile plastered on his lips.

Soobin rolls his eyes. ”You didn’t say that the other day ouch—okay okay!”

Seeing that he still does not trust the other male to not ruin it as a payback from the last time, he is the one who goes for the kiss. His hands are cupping Soobin’s soft cheeks as he leans in. His thumb finds Soobin’s lips first, earning a surprise gasp from the latter, before he presses a quick kiss on top of his thumb.

“There you go,” he pulls away with a smile, satisfied.

“That’s the worst kiss I’ve ever had,” Soobin says softly, just enough for only the two of them to hear.

“It’s not a kiss.”

“Okay then, this is a kiss.”

Before he can question the intention, Beomgyu feels his hand lifted up from his side, and Soobin’s plush lips are pressing a kiss on top of his thumb. It’s the one he used as a buffer between their lips earlier. And he knows that this doesn’t make it a _real_ kiss. Still, his heart is betraying him again as it skips a beat for the simple gesture.

It appears that Soobin only does it to see the flustered look back on Beomgyu’s face, and he succeeded the moment he leaves before Beomgyu can gather his thoughts enough to yell at him.

_There are eleven days left of this perfect illusion._

-

The night of the gathering is coming, and Beomgyu is regretting every decision he has made for the past few weeks as he is forced to sit among these people he does not know well. The only good thing that comes from this is watching Soobin’s annoyance at him in the beginning, plus the free meat and alcohol.

He’s never active in any clubs since he entered college, so this might be the first and last club gathering he will be in.

It gets boring pretty quickly as they soon talk about future competitions and member recruitment tactics. The pieces of meat sizzling on top of the burner are not as appealing anymore since he’s stuffed now. So he finds himself staring at Soobin who’s sitting across the table.

(He almost chokes on a cube of tofu when the guy caught his stare and winked at him.)

It’s no consolation that he got Taehyun to sit next to him, since the guy somehow managed to find a way to drag him out of the invisible walls he built around him and make him known to the rest of the table. He didn’t really pay attention, but it has something to do with promotions and recruitments. And suddenly he got several pair of expectant eyes on him.

“We can commission Beomgyu hyung to edit our promotional video, maybe. He’s good,” someone chimes in. Who is she even?

“Right, he won that competition.”

“He also got that offer to—“before Taehyun can finish his sentence, Beomgyu’s hand flinches and knocks his cup off the table. The mix of beer and soju spills onto his shirt and pants, making him groan in dismay. But he’s panicking for an entirely different reason.

He laughs awkwardly as he excuses himself from the table, making a little run to the restroom. He needs to be as far away as possible before the anxiety closes in on him.

The stain is barely visible on his outfit, only leaving an unpleasant sensation of wet cloth sticking to his skin. As he tries to decide whether he could stand it for the rest of the night or just give up and go home, the door to the restroom swings open. Buzzing of conversations fill the small space alongside of whooshing of air conditioner, and then they are shut off again just in time as a figure stops before him.

He doesn’t even need to take a look to know who could tower over him like this.

“What was that?” Soobin asks. “You were panicking.”

“I was not. Stop trying to read me,” he exhales an exasperated sigh, avoiding the gaze full of accusation as he turns around to wash off the liquor from his hands.

It does not help a slightest bit, as he can feel the male staring at him from the mirror before them. The sound of running water goes on for a little too long, until a sigh escapes from Soobin’s lips. It’s a defeated one, which means that he is not going to press more. At least for now.

“You shouldn’t have made us join this thing. They are just wasting our budget money every three months to hang out. Why did you even agree?”

He perks up at the shift of topic. A playful smile spreads over his lips knowing just how much the latter is not enjoying this occasion. “Because I wanted to.”

“This is a Friday night and you scheduled something for us,” Soobin says, sucking air through his teeth in an irritated noise. Beomgyu gives him a confused look. “That filming schedules you gave me back then. You said you had a whole plan.”

Oh. He is talking about that stupid schedule Beomgyu came up with. Obviously, he did not put much thoughts into it, yet there is someone who actually believes in his organizing skill. It’s almost flattering.

“Actually, I don’t think it’s going very well,” he says softly, biting down on the inside of his lip when the latter gives him a look. “We’re not following the schedules and I’m not getting enough contents to add…”

“Ah, I’m not doing a good job, right?”

“It’s not that!” he says a little too loudly, glaring at Soobin when the male throws him a playful look.

“Are you saying that I did a good job as your boyfriend?”

Beomgyu pulls on his own hair, messing with the dark locks and quickly fixing it again on the mirror. “It’s whatever at this point. I’ll just use what we already filmed. It’s no big deal.”

“After the whole thing we’ve done? The money you’ve wasted on me?” Soobin frowns.

“I’d still pay you, no worries.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Soobin sighs, knowing that he can’t change Beomgyu’s mind with such a stubborn head he possesses. “Can we do something else tonight, then? Without the camera or the whole boyfriend schedules.”

“What?”

“Just see.”

After the short trip back to their table to snatch their coats (and ignoring their friends’ questions), they find themselves laughing breathlessly as they run down the street. The connection between their locked hands provides extra warmth, especially for Beomgyu whose damp shirt is growing cold against his skin, even under his coat.

“Did you see their faces?” Soobin is still laughing when they stop to catch their breaths, tipping his head back and almost stumbling on his own feet.

Beomgyu tugs on his coat to make him steady on his clumsy limbs again, shaking his head. “You’re an idiot.”

Before the taller can retort, they both flinch as a cold breeze blows over them. It’s too cold out there at this time of the year, and then it’s just getting worse as Beomgyu feels an icy drop on his cheek.

“Is it raining?” he ponders aloud, tipping his head up to assess the weather, only to have his lips parted in wonderment as he is facing a very dark sky with dots of white falling slowly upon them.

It’s not cold enough yet for the snow to materialize. They disappear upon a touch on his cheeks, or fades away before they can even touch the ground. Yet it still feels magical, especially as he lowers his gaze just in time to catch the spark in Soobin’s eyes.

The said spark is dimming slowly as the guy reaches out to him. A warm hand makes a contact with his cheek first, in contrast with the chill all around him. As Beomgyu leans into the touch, his thumb moves lower, gently touching his lower lip.

“You got something on your lips.”

“Yeah?” he breathes out.

Which is a good thing, because he forgets how to breathe soon after, as Soobin leans in to close the distance between them. There is no camera in sight, or any sign of their friends checking in on them. Yet it does not feel wrong as their lips meld in a sweet kiss, sending warmth all over their bodies in a split second.

Their first kiss happens on the day the first snow falls in the city, adorning the night street with floating snowflakes.

Beomgyu’s heart falls with them.

_There are ten days left of this perfect illusion._

-

It’s too warm and comfortable in this bed, to the point that it starts to get suspicious.

Beomgyu is not the type to wake up in the morning with a positive mindset. He is never ready to face the day with a smile, or to be grateful that he even wakes up that day. This morning, he wakes up with his nose pressed against a soft fabric of someone’s shirt. The familiar scent makes him want to both go back to sleep and open his eyes to greet the owner.

In the end, he opts to crack his eyes open, finding his face pressed against someone’s shoulder. Pieces of memories from the night before start coming back to him, and in his groggy state, he tilts his head back just to come face to face with Soobin’s sleeping face.

As he is more awake now, he can remember the silly things they did last night even as they were freezing to the bones and yelling for warmth every five minutes. Soobin’s idea sucked. It just ended up with Beomgyu taking his OOTD pictures under the poor lighting of the neighbourhood.

The city never sleeps, so there were still places that stay open and billboards that are always flashing beside them. For some reasons, Soobin was crazy about taking pictures last night, dragging the unwilling friend with him to stop by wherever he thought was pretty, and opened his front camera to take a picture of them.

There had to be more pictures of him in that phone than Beomgyu had taken of himself for his entire life.

They stumbled into his apartment a little past one AM. Beomgyu made a fuss about this one picture that Soobin took of him, complaining about how unflattering it was, while the taller male uses his height as a leverage to keep the phone away from his reach at all time. Even as they hit the bed, Beomgyu was still wrestling for the phone, until he ended up sprawled over Soobin’s front while scrolling through the gallery.

They fell asleep just like that.

How he ended up snuggling up to Soobin in his sleep, Beomgyu could not understand it. He detaches himself from the source of warmth pressing against him, watching as the other rolls over to lie down on his back, still out.

“Nine days,” he mumbles to himself.

Before he knows it, he is pushing himself up to his elbow, bringing his face to hover above Soobin’s. In this proximity, he can count his eyelashes, and maybe imprint the way he looks into his mind. For when the whole illusion has to be broken, and he has to disappear from his life.

The seed of doubt is tugging on his heart strings again. He could just call everything off, just so he can stay here and ask Soobin to stay with him for a little longer. But that’s not what he aimed for when he started this. He is supposed to be getting over his silly crush for the guy.

“You’re staring.”

Soobin’s eyes are still closed when he says this, and it almost makes Beomgyu jump up to the roof of his room. Luckily, Soobin’s arms found their way around his waist, giving him no choice but to stay there with his face burning in shame.

“Just wondering when you’ll wake up. You’ve overstayed your welcome.”

“Really?” his eyes open slowly, staring right into his own. _Too closely._ “Just admit that you fell in love with me, boyfriend.”

That’s too mean. Saying that with the smile toying on that pair of beautiful lips of his. It can’t be serious, yet it hits too close to home. Beomgyu’s heart does this little jolt, almost to the point of it being painful. He feels this weird urge to cry, but all he does is to shove Soobin’s face away with his palm as he wriggles out of the hold.

“You didn’t forget that this whole thing is fake, right?”

His tone is cold as he asks that, shaking subtly as he pushes himself up from the bed to put as much distance as he could from the person who causes him the pain.

“It doesn’t have to be,” he says.

The seed of doubt is sprouting, blooming way too quick in a wishful thinking that it could be more. That if he stays in this place, he will have something more with Soobin. Isn’t that what he has been yearning for?

The first hint of tear makes it to his eyes, quickly blinked away as he fills himself with bubbling anger instead. “Please respect the boundary. I paid you just to fill the role as my _fake_ boyfriend, so let it just stay that way and stop making things go wrong. Stop kissing me when the camera is not filming. It does not benefit my work at all!” he snaps, voice trembling with the amount of emotions he put into his words.

He didn’t hear the movement this time, but Soobin is already behind him when he turns around, almost bumping to his chest. He glares up at him, lips parting to spew more complaints, only to be shut again as Soobin takes his hand. Fingers circled around his wrist in a firm yet gentle hold. There is only concern present in his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he coaxes. That only makes Beomgyu want to cry even more. He’s been deceiving the guy for so long, taking advantage of his kindness while he’s just feeding his little fantasy.

“Let’s just stop. Let’s end this stupid project or whatever. It’s not working well anyway,” he laughs. The smile on his lips does not reach his eyes.

“Beomgyu—“

“We are overdoing it. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. All I needed was someone to act for me and you just…” he takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words that will pierce straight into Soobin’s heart. End everything with a clean cut. “You’re just so bad at it. I’m sorry.”

Soobin’s eyes darken as the grip around Beomgyu’s wrist tightens. It only gets more restricting as he tries to twist the limb and break free, making him glare at the latter with his eyes filled with unshed angry tears.

“Screw the project. Look into my eyes and tell me that it’s nothing for you. Tell me that you really hate when we kiss for no audience.”

“Don’t push it—“

“If you’re going to involve me in this stupid plan, you should consider that I might accidentally forget that it’s all supposed to be fake.”

“And WHY?” his voice breaks in a scream as he snatches his hand away from Soobin’s grip. “Everything is fake! You should know better than to be an idiot to actually…”

His voice trails off as he caught the glint of hurt crossing Soobin’s eyes. His chest breaks inside his heart, knowing that he’s the one who makes this happen. That he is the bad guy here, yet he is blaming Soobin for everything. For actually cares about him and acts like he is going to miss Beomgyu when this ends. For actually thinking that there is a possibility of them being _more_.

“I guess I’m an idiot,” Soobin tips his head back with a sarcastic laugh. “But you’re just cruel, Choi Beomgyu. You didn’t have to drag me into this and use me as much as you’d like.”

“What?” he blinks, tears forming in his eyes despite knowing that already.

“Let’s just end it, then.”

 _No_. Beomgyu wants to say. Wants to reach out and grab Soobin’s hand to make him stay.

Soobin never snaps at him before, no matter how annoying and demanding he could be when it comes to the ‘job’. So it takes him aback, now that his voice raised at him, filled with frustration. As Beomgyu takes his time to wrap his mind around it, Soobin is not looking at him anymore.

“It’s not like you actually needed me in the first place. It could be anyone.”

He can’t even say anything, tongue numb in his mouth, as he watches Soobin walk away, leaving him alone and taking all the warmth away from his bedroom.

The desperate look in his eyes remind him of the very first day when Beomgyu was the one who is desperate for _this_ , and now he is the one who is ruining everything.

_There are nine days left of this perfect illusion._

-

It’s the last weekend of his stay in the city. He should be going out with some friends or do some activities that he might miss when he is away. Instead, he finds himself sitting on Taehyun’s bed, watching as the freshman is typing something on a word page that’s already filled with too many words. He already got timed out for trying to distract him.

Sitting in silence like this, it’s easier for his mind to fly somewhere else.

How impulsive he had been when he made the decision to take the offer for the student exchange program. The way he is hiding this from all his friends except for Taehyun, opting to disappear unnoticed. His stupid plan to score a date with Choi Soobin that ended up backfired on him.

A sigh escapes his lips, earning a glare from Taehyun who had warned him to sit in total silence. Before any scolding could commence, he beats him to it.

“I have a confession.”

Taehyun blinks, prying his attention away from his laptop for the first time in the past hour. “You’re not in love with me, are you?”

“You wish,” his lips twitch into a smile at this. “You were right about the other thing, though.”

“What is it?”

“Soobin and I was never a thing. Not for real, at least,” he breaks the news, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he caught an unreadable emotion crossing Taehyun’s face. This must have confirmed Taehyun’s continuous claims of his ‘endless idiocy’. “He didn’t react favourably when I asked him out, so I made a bunch of excuses and basically paid him to be my boyfriend for this video I’m making.”

“That’s dumb.” _An expected response._ “Especially dumb now that you’re telling me about it.”

“Cause it’s kinda not going well. I’m just doing this to get rid of my curiosity because I’ve been crushing on him for a while, but he got mad at me when I tried to end it…” he trails off, biting back the excuses he’s dying to make as he tries to own up to his mistakes. “He probably hates me now.”

After a dragging silence that is caused by his inner turmoil, he feels the bed dip on his side. Taehyun has abandoned his assignment to join him.

“Idiot. You really thought it was all fake, if he’s so mad about that?”

“What?” Beomgyu blinks at him.

“First of all, I never believed you for the longest time. There was never any sign of you two knowing each other, and suddenly you’re dating? Nonsense.”

“It took you one week.“

“But you know what made me believe it?”

“My flawless acting?”

Taehyun scoffs.

“That night he drove you home from the party, I was actually already home. I don’t think soobin realized I was there when he tucked you into the couch and put the blanket on you.”

“Which is dumb because my back hurt—"

“He stayed there for like five minutes, just staring at you with a stupid smile on his face. And then he kissed your forehead and he looked so fond of you,” Taehyun continues, ignoring the way his friend looks so lost at the information. He only meets his eyes again once he’s done, shaking his head at the memory. “Can you imagine the cool and composed Soobin hyung turning into an idiot for someone? That’s when I knew that I could trust my best friend with him.”

There is a familiar sting on his eyes, and Beomgyu is not sure if it is caused by the thought of Soobin taking his ‘boyfriend duty’ a little too far or Taehyun’s words in regards to it. In the end, he throws himself at his best friend, ignoring the displeased noise produced by the male as he nuzzles into his shoulder. Limbs wrapping around his smaller frame.

“Why am I not in love with you instead?”

Taehyun makes a disgusted noise, but it’s followed by a laugh. “Gross? I’m not capable of being idiots in love, which is a requirement when it comes to dating you.”

“Do you think he might like me? Even for a bit?”

“Are you crazy?” Taehyun throws a pointed look at him.

“Ouch?”

“He’s in love with you.”

That makes Beomgyu choke on his breath, still wheezing even minutes later while Taehyun pats his back. What had he done to deserve constantly being pushed close to death by both his best friend and (fake) boyfriend?

_There are eight days left of this perfect illusion._

-

“I’m so sorry.”

That’s the first thing Beomgyu says when he comes face to face with Soobin again.

He is standing in front of the door to Soobin’s house, folding himself into a bow as soon as he spots his face just so he won’t have to see Soobin’s expression upon seeing him at the doorstep. When the latter does not say anything past his surprised state, he just keeps going.

“I’m sorry for involving you in my stupid plan. There was never a video project, I just used it as an excuse so you’d agree with the arrangement,” he spills everything, regretting every word he says as he is just giving more reasons for the other to hate him. “I just wanted to try it, without considering that you might feel like you were used. I’m so sorry.”

The initial response makes Beomgyu freeze. It’s a deep exhale, and he could feel disappointment dripping from that one sound alone. He slowly straightens his back to face the taller male, nibbling the inside of his lips to ease the bubbling anxiety in his chest.

“Was that really a prank, then?”

“No!” he exclaims almost too loudly. “It’s just that…”

 _I have a crush on you. Always been. Since forever._ He wants to say. Instead he falls into silence, shrinking under the sharp gaze from the usually gentle eyes.

Whatever Taehyun said about Soobin being in love with him, it’s all thrown out of the window by now. It’s replaced by fear, as he is shifting from one foot to another, counting down the time to see how long of the silence would be appropriate for him to bolt away from this place.

He is just lucky that Soobin is not asking him about the real reason behind this whole mess.

“How much time left until the end of our agreement?”

“A week,” he answers meekly. “But we don’t really have to do it anymore. I’ll still pay you in full.”

Beomgyu expected a lot of things when he rang the bell earlier; ranging from unconditional forgiveness to rage. This? It never crossed his mind. It’s apparent from how he is gaping at the latter.

“One week. We record as much materials as you need to make a video,” Soobin says. He appears to made up his mind already and from the look in his eyes, nothing can change that. “That video will be my payment, since I already wasted a significant amount of time for you.”

So it was a waste. Beomgyu should’ve expected this.

The fact that Soobin still wants to see him is already enough of a blessing for him, and he is not in the place to complain. Not when this might be the last time he is seeing Choi Soobin. As his ‘boyfriend’ or not.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?”

Soobin tilts his head, a small smile gracing his lips. “No. You have to take responsibility for your actions.”

He can’t really register what happens next, until he is tugged inside the house, and suddenly he is sitting in the middle of Soobin’s living room. It’s a two story house decorated in majority of white, which reminds him of his mom’s taste at home. He might be comfortable to be left alone in the living room, but Soobin thinks it’s a good idea to dump him into his mother’s companion, yelling to _“take care of my boyfriend for a bit!”_ while he runs upstairs to his room.

Beomgyu wishes that the couch will swallow him up, as he is engulfed by the awkward air around him. The lady is very nice, which should ease his nerves a little. If only it’s not for the fact that he had taken advantage of her son for three weeks, and only barely made up with him a few moments ago.

“Beomgyu, right? Soobin told me a lot about you,” she says.

It’s one thing to fake a relationship for fun among their friends, or in the video camera which captures a lot of acting. But to involve your parent in it? Beomgyu would very much like to whack the guy in the head.

“I hope they are good things,” he smiles, cupping the cup of plum juice she gave to him. The scent calms him down a lot, reminds him of home. As he watches Soobin’s mom talk and move, he can understand where Soobin gets his gentleness from.

“Not everything is good,” _screw that guy_. “But I can tell you some embarrassing stuff about Binnie? To make it even.”

Beomgyu’s eyes spark to live at the offer. Perhaps he has started to like her better than her son, and that says a lot.

By the time she gets past the silly stories from his childhood and ready to show pictures, Soobin comes running down the staircase. He senses something wrong with the photo album that is perched on the table, quickly whining at his mother and snatching Beomgyu away from her.

For a moment, the only thing that can be heard is the sound of Beomgyu’s laughter as he is being dragged upstairs. Silence only comes again when the door to the bedroom is shut, and Beomgyu is filled with nerves again.

It’s obvious that Soobin’s disappearance earlier has something to do with rearranging the things in his room. Even as it looks neat, the place looks like it has just gone through a last minute clean-up. Clothes piled up in a basket, a set of laptop and speakers randomly thrown onto the bed, edges of papers sticking out of forcefully-shut drawers.

The urge to laugh starts bubbling up his chest, but he bites his lip to hold it back. What interests him is the row of tiny ceramic pots on the windowsill. He gets a view of the balcony when he stands before the window, hands brushing over the pots of cacti and succulents.

“Would this camera be okay for filming too? I feel bad for using your camera all the time—“

When Soobin’s voice comes up again, a crash of ceramic pot rips through the room as it shatters on the floor. Beomgyu only wanted to lift it up for a better look. It slips off his fingers when he turned around to face the owner of the room, who is now staring at him with a pair of very intimidating eyes.

That’s when he noticed the video camera in Soobin’s hand, pointing at him, with a familiar red LED shining on its front.

“You can’t be mad! The camera is on and you’re my boyfriend,” he sputters, being all defensive with his hand pointing at the latter.

“I don’t think you make a very good boyfriend right now, killing my plants.”

That makes him double over in laughter, and eventually, a smile is transferred to Soobin’s lips as well.

They keep the camera rolling just as how Beomgyu demands it (“To make sure that I’m still safe!”) as they sit down on the floor, repotting the succulent into a brand new tiny mug. Soobin really treats the plant like his baby, and Beomgyu has to bite back a smile as he watches the guy being so careful in handling it. To the point that he gives up since he can’t control the amount of power he puts into his fingers.

That leaves Beomgyu with the task of moving the plant from the heap of soil on the floor to its new home. His brows furrowed as he slowly and gently makes his fingers work. It doesn’t help that he gets complaints whenever he accidentally touches the plant with his bare hands.

Once he successfully moved the tiny plant into the safety of its new home, he looks up to smile triumphantly, only to catch Soobin staring at him instead of his plants

“W-what?”

“You’re so pretty. I can’t not look at you.”

Beomgyu wheezes, thrusting the cup into Soobin’s hands before he jumps up on his feet, making a lunge towards where the camera is perched on top of the desk. Noticing his intention, Soobin also goes for it. This leaves them wrestling for the device for five full minutes before Soobin finally gives up after being elbowed on his guts, curled onto his side on the floor while Beomgyu taps on end recording button.

“I can’t stand you, Choi Soobin!”

This one is the truth. He can’t stand having Soobin all warm and sweet to him, and have that version of Soobin ripped away from him the moment he switches off the recording. It’s apparent from how the guy looks at him right now, devoid of any warmth that provides comfort to his heart.

It makes his chest ache, that everything between them is based on a lie, even until now.

If this is Soobin’s way of getting back at him for lying, he is doing so well at it. Beomgyu can’t even blame him.

_There are seven days left of this perfect illusion._

**( Part 3 – Enlightenment )**

**━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━**

It’s a week full of impromptu dates and last minute filming schedules.

On the first day, Beomgyu takes his camera to where he knows Soobin would stay at in the campus at this time of the year. It’s the last few days of final week where all the projects met their deadlines and all that’s left are the boring written tests, which means that the guy will spend some time in the library again. What he didn’t expect is to see him dozing on his table. A pile of books covering his face from any passerby.

Nothing seems to bother him. Not the broken heater inside the library that makes everyone stay snuggly in their padded coats, not the nodding of his own head as he is succumbing into a deeper sleep, not the dragging of chair next to him as Beomgyu joins him on the table.

He stifles a laugh as he films the disgraceful moment of him dozing in the middle of the day.

“Should I draw on his face?” he wonders to himself, quietly seating himself on the vacant chair next to him and pushing the book away from blocking his sight.

This way, he can see Soobin’s face clearly. The hint of dark circles under his eyes from the possible all-nighter he pulled the night prior, the extended hand over the table that acts as a makeshift pillow, the pouted lips that part subtly whenever he exhales deeper from whatever happened inside his dream.

All the thoughts of pranks or waking him up are thrown out of the window. He is left staring at his _boyfriend_ with an unmistakeably fond smile.

What wakes him up is the walking of Beomgyu’s fingers on the inside of his wrist, until they are reaching his palm, and carefully slipping between his fingers. He is holding the limp hand loosely, marvelling in the difference of the sizes of their palms. He almost fails to catch how the pretty fingers close around his own, keeping them locked in secure hold just as he intends to pull his hand away.

Beomgyu’s eyes and the camera lenses flicker from their intertwined hands to the sleepy eyes that are now staring at him. Warmth radiates into his system in a painful way, both from the way Soobin is holding his hand, and looking at him he is the only thing with colours in this world.

Just like how he’d wake up in the morning, with a hint of morning sunshine filtering past the screen of his window, and his significant other sleeping on the same pillow with him. It’s that kind of warmth.

The kind of warmth that Beomgyu does not deserve.

“What are you thinking of?” he registers the movement of Soobin’s lips first before the question gets through the buzzing in his mind.

“Nothing. You?”

“You.”

Beomgyu’s fingers tremble in the hold, just before they managed to break free and grab a book by its side. Soobin barely managed to avoid the attack to his head. Very much awake now as his smile lights up the whole library.

-

On the second day, they are doing this for the eyes of his friends instead of the camera.

Aside from Taehyun’s knowing gaze, the rest of them are still in the dark of the nature of their relationship, and they will be kept that way. They spend the last day of exam week in the bowling centre, placing a bet in a group of three and two. Not many friends are available to join them in this relaxing day. Most of them are still recovering from the final week.

When his ball goes to the gutter, Beomgyu’s face turns down in a dejected stance, especially with the cheers from the trio in the background as they practically have confirmed their win. It will cost the two of them a fortune, since the loser team will have to pay for dinner, and they are growing boys who eat a lot. Especially Yeonjun.

Beomgyu is still pouting as he walks away from the lanes, straight into Soobin’s arms as the guy is already waiting behind him. It’s so natural, how he is drawn to Soobin right away, and the first thing he thought of is to open his arms and welcome Beomgyu in his arms. He presses his nose against the fabric of Soobin’s knitted sweater, ignoring the barf sound made by someone in the background and the squeak of bowling shoes against shiny floor.

It’s a wonder how he lived without his safe place for so many years until Soobin comes around.

-

On the third day of the week, Beomgyu almost breaks down.

It starts off with a simple date at a café, as both of them are avoiding the invitations for the too-early-Christmas party Yeonjun whined for them to come to. As they are not trying to convince people to recognize them as a couple anymore, those parties hold no use for them.

The date is filled by laughter at first, as they picked a drink for each other and that decision turns out to be a disaster. Soobin makes an absolutely disgusted face as he takes a sip of iced Americano Beomgyu ordered for him, quickly asking for some milk and sugar just to turn the beverage into _“something that is actually drinkable by humans”_. Meanwhile, Beomgyu has to settle with his avocado juice, making a face every time he takes a sip because of the thickness of the texture on his tongue and the strong aftertaste in his throat.

At some point of the night, Beomgyu finally remembers to take his camera out of the bag. It captures the ambience of the place first, before the focus is shifted to Soobin, who is looking at him with his chin rested on top of his palm. He is staring at Beomgyu, but his eyes are subtly glazed, as though his mind is somewhere else.

“What are you thinking of?” he asks jokingly, repeating the same question asked to him the other day.

His free hand reaches out to steal a macaroon from the plate full of colourful dessert, taking advantage of Soobin’s unguarded stance. As Soobin blinks out of his thoughts, he expected him to swat his hand away (he really gets protective of his sweets). Instead, Soobin takes a hold of his wrist, guiding it to his mouth so he can take the pink dessert past his plush lips. The fingers never let go of Beomgyu’s hand, keeping it stretched across the table. The loosely balled fist held carefully in his hand.

“Something about love.”

Beomgyu’s heart makes a little jolt at the mention of it. “What about it?”

“Why do you think loving is associated with falling? The word holds so much negativity. It’s like if you fell and hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere else to go than to find your way up,” he says, lips pursed out for a second as he seems to still think about it. “Does it mean that if you fell in love, you had to get up eventually?”

Why is he even thinking about love while looking at Beomgyu? Why is he thinking about getting out of it?

Seeing that Beomgyu is not replying, with his hand still tensed in Soobin’s hold, the guy breaks into a soft laughter. His tongue peeks out of his lips to clean off the hint of sweetness remain on the tiers. “Well, it’s a stupid concept anyway. Don’t mind me.”

“You really think it’s stupid?”

 _He’s in love with you._ Taehyun is so wrong for this. For planting this in his head and bringing his hopes up, even when he knows that it is hopeless. He is not in the place for even wishing that Choi Soobin would develop any kind of fond feeling for him.

The camera shakes a little in his hand, either from the weight that he starts to feel on his tired arm, or because of the sudden rush of anger inside him.

“It’s not that I think couples are stupid, it’s just…”

Soobin is still talking, but his words are distorted in a ripple of water before they could reach Beomgyu’s ears. He can see the alarmed gaze from the latter as he turns off his camera and stuffs it into his bag, vowing to never take it out ever again.

“I feel sick,” he cuts the monologue, catching Soobin’s perplexed look at him before he pries his gaze away as he gets out of the booth they are sitting at. “I’m sorry. I just really need to go home.”

He bolts out of the café before Soobin can have any more word out. It’s either that he is too quick or Soobin just got held back as he had to pay for the bill he left behind, but he is left alone for the rest of the night, free to let his thoughts engulf him in a dark state.

Home is not his destination. He finds himself in front of Yeonjun’s house. Legs betraying him as they lead him inside, into a living room filled by a melody of the owner’s favourite rnb music. He greets Yeonjun who looks at him surprised, but welcomes him to join a round of messy dance-off. It keeps him happy for five minutes before he leaves to find something else to distract him.

In this party, Kai finally managed to get to him without being interrupted by an unwanted makeout session before his eyes. He sits silently next to him, before offering a solo cup to him.

“Trouble in paradise?” he asks. Beomgyu scoffs softly.

“I’m not really sure.”

It could’ve ended right there, like any other of their conversations that he never bothered to hold. He mildly regrets not giving much attention to the younger’s attempt of getting closer to him. And now there is not much time left to make that happen.

“Why are you always so nice to me?” he asks instead, earning a confused look from the pair of sharp eyes.

“You’re a friend,” is the short, initial answer. “Plus, you make Soobin hyung happy. In return, it also makes me happy.”

“Anything makes that guy happy. I saw him smiling for five minutes straight while watching that little scientist guy from Pororo.”

Kai laughs at that. “Well, you’re not the one who has to listen when he talks about _you_ , after all.”

He blinks at the guy, curious, but not letting himself ask for the reason. He does not need any other opinion from outsiders that will give him another false hope. It’s just his luck that Kai’s mind works in a similar way with Taehyun in regards to giving answers to something that he’s not asked of.

“It’s like he’s been waiting for you since forever, and you’re worth the wait. So irritating for the single community like us.”

It’s so irritating for Beomgyu too, that he is the only one who can’t see what they are talking about.

-

On the fourth day, Beomgyu comes home to Soobin guarding his door.

There is no way out from this, since the elevator just closed behind him, producing a soft noise of going down the shaft. As he stands stunned in that corridor leading to his apartment room, Soobin caught a glance of him. Lips spread into a smile.

“Have you been waiting here all night?” he asks once he could access his vocal cord again.

“I wish I could tell you that. But no, Taehyun let me sleep inside last night.”

Beomgyu stops, standing right in front of the guy who is blocking the door. He suddenly regrets coming home so early, wishing that he had overstayed his welcome in Yeonjun’s place instead; then maybe he won’t have to face Soobin like this. Especially now that the guy stood up, blocking the entire door.

“I can’t stop thinking about last night. I’m sorry if I offended you in any way.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“So it did offend you, what I said about love.”

The mention of it brings his mind back to their conversation last night, and how stupid he was to feel angry about it when Soobin had been so casual about it. How stupid he was for even get bothered about it. Perhaps that uncomfortable nap on Yeonjun’s beer stained sofa has brought him some enlightenment.

There is no fear anymore as he tips his head up to look at Soobin.

“That’s because I’m in love with you,” he admits, looking straight into the pair of now-widened eyes. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, that I can’t remember when it started, or how to discern the acting we did for the video and the real thing that goes on between us, if there is any.”

“Beomgyu…”

“That’s why it hurts me, when you are only nice to me when the camera is present, because I wished it to be real. All this time, I’ve been the one who’s not recognizing any boundary, yet I lashed out on you.”

“Beomgyu, can you listen to me?”

He shakes his head stubbornly, bringing his hands up in a gesture to block out whatever the other has to say. “I’ve been using you, Soobin. From the very first day, I intended to use you to get over my crush for you, and then it backfired on me.

“Because I just fell in love with you even more, and it makes me feel stupid.”

There is a flash of annoyance in Soobin’s face, one that makes Beomgyu feel alarmed for a second that he flinches the moment he feels a cold hand touching his cheek. He squeezes his eyes shut, welcoming the worst cases.

What he feels is a soft kiss on his forehead. Lips replacing the coldness he has got from the trip home from Yeonjun’s place. He blinks his eyes open just in time to receive another kiss to his nose. And then a last kiss is pressed to his lips the moment they parted to ask a question.

It is different from the other kisses they have shared until now. Their first obligatory kiss at Yeonjun’s birthday party and that impulsive kiss on the day the first snow fell. He can feel warmth for all of them, but not this kind of desperation that leaves him breathless and weak on the knees. To the point that he is clutching onto Soobin’s coat the moment he is released.

When he opens his eyes, his heart aches at the look in Soobin’s eyes. It’s a rather sad look, one that screams at him that _this shouldn’t be happening_. They are not supposed to kiss without any audience, or fall in love. Beomgyu had broken that rule since Day One.

“You know, this is why I was upset the other day,” Soobin says, exhaling his words in a soft whisper.

Beomgyu blinks at him.

“I wanted us to be real.”

At this point, he is not sure if the guy is that mean or that his words have a deeper implication behind it. But he does not want to think anymore, and Soobin is not pushing it. He does not want to think about the possibility of his fake boyfriend falling in love with him, because their time is limited, and he’s trying so hard not to ruin his own life for someone.

-

On the fifth day, Beomgyu is so close to sending an email to cancel his transfer.

Ironically, he is saved by a very clueless Soobin, who quickly makes his way to his apartment when he breaks down over a phone call.

One look on his face when he opens the door, Soobin silently walks into the plac and gathers Beomgyu into his arms like it’s the most natural thing to do. The buzzing of his laptop’s fan goes on for a while in the background, reminding him of the email open blatantly on the screen, until the room goes into a total silence when it goes into sleep mode. Beomgyu finally forgets what he was trying to do.

At some point, he has wriggled himself further into the warmth. Soobin’s padded jacket is wrapped around the both of them in a very tight fit, with a part of Beomgyu’s head sticking out of the top as he shrinks himself smaller. Hair all messy from the little struggling session.

“You look ugly when you’re sulking,” Soobin chides him. “Don’t make me ask for a refund.”

“We’re breaking up in two days anyway,” he scoffs, stabbing the middle of Soobin’s clavicles with his nose and headbutting his chin.

“What would you do without me?”

It’s an awkward position, as they are standing in the middle of his living room, sharing one jacket, even though the heater is fully functional and eventually it gets too warmt with the body heat and extra cover. No one says anything, too comfortable with the little swaying and waddling from side to side.

The slowing down of his breathing marks the time as Beomgyu’s nerves have calmed down. Soobin presses a kiss to the top of his head as a reward, and Beomgyu beams up at him.

He stands there stunned as Soobin’s lips moved in a very familiar way. He witnessed this that night they did their imaginary stargazing, and in countless of his soundless dreams. Before he can voice out a question, the lips are pressed on top of them, tasting so much like honey and mint and the taste of home he wants to imprint into his memory.

No questions need to be asked, because the words are whispered against his lips, in Soobin’s voice and not in movement. This time, the ache in Beomgyu’s chest is a pleasant way.

“I love you.”

Right there, engulfed in the arms of his fake boyfriend, Beomgyu finally finds the answer of that question about falling in love and having to get up. If rock bottom feels like this, he never wants to find a way up. He will dig down deeper until he cannot differentiate which way is up and down.

(Taehyun went out of his room at some point during this odd standing-up cuddling session, took a look at them, and went back to his room without further comment. He didn’t come out for the rest of the day.)

-

On the sixth day, the camera makes an appearance again.

Initially, he carries it around the department to record some video messages of his friends as a memento before he moved away. It is disguised as a biography project of himself, so they started saying only nice things about him and it almost made his camera goes out of focus at how he’s shaking from laughter. Half of these people won’t remember him when he suddenly stops attending the same class with them, so they won’t feel so wronged.

Only Taehyun knows that his flight is scheduled on the next day, and he intends to keep it this way.

“You can just say anything about me. For the last time? Like I’m going to disappear forever, please please please!” He has to resort to begging as Taehyun keeps giving him the stank face. Thankfully for his pride, his puppy eyes seem to work as Taehyun sighs in defeat, lowering his phone so he can face his camera properly.

“Choi Beomgyu is an idiot who makes a lot of bad choices. He is also a crybaby who can’t make up his mind until someone pushes him to do it, sometimes it’s so irritating because he’s always known the answer already,” Taehyun speaks so fast, that it takes a moment for Beomgyu to realize that nothing he said is good. He glares at the latter, about to shut down this recording and prepare a script for him when the younger starts speaking again. ‘But that’s what makes him endearing, watching him failing and whining, yet always getting up to do more amazing things. One of the best decision I made in my life was to call that number who was looking for a roommate, because I gained myself a best friend, and that’s—“

Before Taehyun could finish his line, he is interrupted by his own yelp as Beomgyu has thrown himself to him. The cam is still recording in his hand, but he pays it no mind as he hugs his best friend tightly, burying his face in Taehyun’s shoulder to get rid of the sting on his eyes.

“You’re acting like I’m going to leave forever…” he fakes a sniffle, rubbing his nose into Taehyun’s shirt and earning him a disgusted groan from the latter. “Don’t miss me too much or cry at night because you’re lonely, Taehyunnie.”

“You’re acting like you’re leaving forever!”

“Well…”

“If you never comeback, can I keep living at your apartment?”

Beomgyu pulls away just to glare at the friend, but any kind of complaints die down on his throat as he spots a very familiar guy walking towards them.

“What’s this? Soft hours?” Soobin smiles as he reaches the table they are sitting at, casually occupying one of the chairs. Beomgyu wonders if he had been close enough to hear what they were saying, wonders what he would think of if he finds out that Beomgyu is leaving. Is he going to hold him back?

Because if that happens, Beomgyu is not sure if he is going to say no. And that’s why he is dreading the possibility.

“Just Beomgyu hyung being an idiot like usual,” Taehyun says.

“Understandable.”

“Hey!” taking his mind off the negativity for a moment, Beomgyu glares at the two, folding his arms across his chest.

A soft laughter fills the air as Soobin laughs, turning his body to face Beomgyu completely and cups his face. The smaller male can only gape at him as he tilts his face up, thumbs brushing under his eyes almost too softly that he can’t feel the touch.

“Why are you always crying? Stop it.”

It takes a second too long for Beomgyu to process it because of how his brain has gone haywire, that he can only blink slowly, staring at the pair of gentle eyes staring at him. If this goes on, he might be lost in the depth of Soobin’s eyes.

“So… why is hyungnim here?” Taehyun clears his throat.

“Visiting my boyfriend, of course!”

Beomgyu almost chokes at how casually those words slip past Soobin’s lips. He turns his head to face another way, pretending to be busy with the settings of his camera just so he won’t be trapped in this awkward situation. There is no way he can tell his fake boyfriend that Taehyun knows everything. Not to mention that the guy is not helping his case, clearly enjoying it.

“Is that so? Are you two shooting a video today?”

While Soobin is throwing a curious look at the freshman, Beomgyu is making his best attempt of a threatening face behind him; completed with the whole movement of slicing across his neck with a hand and fake strangling someone.

“Beomgyu hyung is forcing all of us to record a video for him today. Please take him away.”

Soobin does take him away eventually, because he is tailing the guy as he walks away from the art department lounge. The camera is on-standby as he whines for a three minutes video.

“You’ve had enough videos of me already! Why do you need more?” he reasons, eyeing the familiar camera suspiciously. It’s the same camera as the one they have been using the past few weeks.

“This is for a project!”

“What, did you get more fake boyfriends? Taehyunnie?” Soobin frowns.

“No! What do you think am I?” he scowls at the accusation, thrusting the camera to the latter’s face to make his point. “It’s a project to compile whatever my friends have to say about me, as if it’s their last time seeing me.”

“Blackpink?” Soobin blinks, breaking into a grin at the sour look thrown at him. “Alright, fine. Turn it on.”

That’s easier than coaxing Taehyun into this. Beomgyu’s face instantly lights up as he turns on the recording, taking a step back to make sure that he gets the best angle of the taller male in this corridor between classes.

“So, Choi Beomgyu, there is only one thing I want to say to him,” he starts, Beomgyu encourages him with a thumbs up and a nod. What he didn’t expect is to have his heart stop for a beat when Soobin looks at him straight through the camera lenses, and then the words that he said to him appear to fly over his head, unable to get through the thick fog clouding his mind. “Be my boyfriend.”

He makes a choked noise, wheezing softly. “W-what?”

“Go out with me. We can go on dates without the camera around and we can kiss anytime we’d like,” Soobin, that sadist, just keeps going, unaware of the state he is in. If his heart is connected to a machine, it would have flatlined for a second there. Despite the panic obvious in Beomgyu’s face, he just keeps going. “Let’s be boyfriends for real.”

There is a rush of shiver up his spines, coaxing Beomgyu to smile at how pleasant it actually feels. His heart is beating madly inside his chest, pounding against his ribcages as though it is reaching for the latter. No question is left, as his heart already knows the answer. Yet Beomgyu is pressing his lips together thinly as he looks down to his camera, watching as Soobin walks closer until his chest bumps against the device, colouring the screen black.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head, turning it away the moment he feels a tap under his chin to make him look up at Soobin.

No matter how much he wants it to happen, he can’t say yes, only to have Soobin hates him the moment he discovered another one of his deception. As much as he has wanted this since Day One, his feelings have grown too much since then to ignore how Soobin might feel the moment he found out that he is leaving.

“Tomorrow,” the word slips past his lips before he can stop it. He returns his gaze to catch Soobin’s eyes. “You’ll get your answer tomorrow.”

Soobin purses his lips in dismay, but eventually nods. “Fair enough, since tomorrow is the last day of us faking our relationship, I expect that we can start a new chapter.”

A new chapter where Beomgyu is no longer in his life.

He only smiles bitterly at that, not paying attention to what Soobin says about having to meet his professor before holidays before he’s being left alone. The camera is still recording. Red light blinking loudly in the deserted corridor he is in, mocking him.

It is just messed up that he has to find more reasons to stay on the very last day of this mess.

==

“Well, it’s time to leave.”

Beomgyu already went through the full hour of teary goodbyes from his parents, letting his mom whack his shoulder because he’s taking too long. The last person in line for the goodbye is Taehyun, who was watching the exchange with a knowing smile. He is unusually nice today, especially so after spending the whole night helping him pack this suitcase.

“You’re really not telling him, huh?” Taehyun asks him, just as they separate from a last hug and Beomgyu is ready to pass the boarding gate.

A small smile forms on his lips as he shakes his head. “It’s for the best. If I see him here right now, I’ll do that scene in movies where I try to break through the gate just so I can kiss him, and then I’ll be kicked out from the flight and won’t be there in time for the orientation and—“

“You know you can just ask them nicely,” Taehyun cuts him. “Also, you’re going to miss your flight if you go on.”

Beomgyu narrows his eyes playfully at him before gently knocking his knuckles onto his forehead. “I will miss you. Take care of our home!”

The last urge to cry again is successfully swallowed down as he waves goodbye to the people he loves, before letting himself walk past the gate. He does not live in a movie, after all. There will not be a scene where Soobin suddenly shows up and begs him not to leave, or a sudden epiphany. This is what he wants for his life.

Just as he is walking through the glass corridors towards the plane, his phone vibrates with an incoming message. He stops on his track, shifting his bag to a shoulder while fetching the device. He hates his heart for betraying him, thumping painfully against his chest when he spots the name of the sender.

 _Choi Soobin_.

It’s a video file.

His thumb barely taps the play button, and a picture of them making a silly face at the camera suddenly fills his screen. He gapes, breaking into a laugh soon as the video progresses. It’s a bunch of pictures they took on that night they ran away from the club meeting. Their breaths fogging the air and their fists clenched because of the freezing temperature. They are edited in a tacky way, accompanied by a background music that makes it even funnier.

These pictures make him laugh, but the next set of pictures makes him smile solemnly, realizing that all of them are pictures of him secretly taken during their little ‘dates’. This is him through Soobin’s eyes.

 _“Hey, you’re not expecting this, huh? I bet you’re expecting me to storm to the airport and hold you back,”_ the pictures are switched to Soobin’s face, and Beomgyu laughs at his words. _“I just want to know that I’m supporting you, wherever you are, and I will still love you the same way. I don’t know why you’re not telling me about you leaving, but it doesn’t change anything about my feelings, or my confession.”_

Beomgyu’s hand is lifted to close over his mouth, stifling his gasp as he tries to process the information. Soobin knows.

_“I found out that you will be leaving weeks ago. That first time you let me into your bedroom. I understood then why we were only doing it for a month, but I don’t want it to end. That’s why I was upset._

_And then I realized how stupid it was. The last two weeks of us ‘dating’ was amazing, so I’m sure we’ll do well with a little distance between us, too. Don’t you think so?”_

He shakes his head stubbornly, mumbling his words to the Soobin on the screen as if the video is a two-ways connection. “It won’t. I’ll miss you too much.”

_“Well, whatever your decision is, you still owe me an answer. I will respect that too. But please know that I’m in love with you, there’s nothing you do that can change that.”_

That’s when everything hits him in full force. The feelings are so raw that it makes him breathless. His hand drops to clutch onto his chest as he drops himself into a squat. His gaze starts to blur as he stares at Soobin’s smiling face, watching those plush lips move to say something for him as a closing of his video, before his screen goes dark. He can hear Soobin’s voice as he rests his forehead on top of his knees, letting his tears stain his dark blue jeans.

_“I’ll be waiting for you.”_

**( Part 4 – Commitment )**

**━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━**

It’s been a year since Beomgyu leaves him.

The seasons have changed from cold winter, breezy spring, scorching summer, windy autumn, and back to another chilly winter. Still, there is no message or phonecall from Beomgyu. The last message sent to Soobin’s phone was a _Let’s meet again on the next first snow_ , and then he was gone.

Last night, it starts snowing again in Seoul. First hints of snow falling upon the busy night city and melting when it touches Soobin’s palm. It reminded him of the first time they kissed without any audience, making him wonder if Beomgyu was going to show up out of the blue.

He did not.

“I still don’t understand why he had to be that dramatic when he’s only going away for a year for this student exchange program,” Kai comments when Soobin brought up his worries.

They did not talk about it much throughout the year, though he did explain to Kai about the true nature of their relationship, which earned him three months straight of teasing and clownery from the tall freshman. Only as the _deadline_ is nearing that they dare to open the topic again.

“Pisces. What do you expect?” Soobin laughs, endeared at the thought of the guy now that he allows himself to think of him.

The brightness does not last for long as he falls into his own thoughts again. He has been waiting for a year just like he told Beomgyu in the farewell video, but there is nothing certain about it. No answer to his confession, or a sign that Beomgyu actually _wanted_ him to wait. They did not talk for a whole year, and Soobin starts to feel like an idiot at the thought of him being the only one who looking forward to their meeting again.

After all, Beomgyu started it as a fake relationship between them, no matter what he said afterwards.

“Are you really going to give up, though? It doesn’t sound like hyung,” the younger says, gathering his attention back.

He blinks a few times, eyeing Kai who is now casually stealing pieces of his sweet potato fries from his lap. He doesn’t even care about the food anymore. That’s just how severe his mood is being affected by it.

“What am I supposed to do? I can only wait for so long.”

“Have you tried reaching out to him?”

“He changed his number.”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Kai sighs, sounding exasperated now. “Social media exists. Taehyun and I interacted a lot with him. You can see everything on your home feed. It’s just you.”

As if getting caught in the lie, he averts his gaze from the younger, running his fingers through his hair. Everything else in the vicinity suddenly seems interesting now. The deserted campus ground, empty benches and withering leaves. They are the ones brave enough (or stupid enough) to be chilling outside the building at this time of the year.

“You’re intentionally avoiding him, aren’t you?” Kai keeps going. He sometimes hates how Huening Kai can read him so well.

“Not exactly,” he finally gives in, patting his hair back into place as he looks down to the crumpled food wrapper on his lap. “Maybe I’m just scared that it was all for nothing in the end. I’ve never liked someone this much.”

“Still?”

“Shut up. I know I’m a loser.”

Kai scoffs, smiling softly afterwards as he gestures towards the phone placed between them. “Then maybe you should check your phone.”

The freshman does not explain anything, only getting up to pick the trash and leaving him there. When Soobin does check his phone, there is a new kakaotalk message from a very familiar contact. The first message in the chatroom that has been left forgotten for a whole year.

No ‘hi’ or ‘how are you’, just a single link that leads him to a YouTube page. It was uploaded last night, and since then gathered over fifty thousand views. It’s titled _’30-Days Boyfriends Challenge’_ , and his heart does a backflip as he realized just what it is.

It’s the payment he asked for their 30 days of faking a relationship.

His fingers shake a little as he plays the video. Lips slowly curled into a smile when the video starts with Beomgyu’s face. The face he has missed the most. It was their first date at the café where they talked about the project, and only now has he realized how flustered the guy had been that day. It proceeded to their next dates. The amusement park, failed claw machine games, stargazing, guitar session, cactus pot accident. Those clips bring a lot of memories that make him smile, feeling all warm inside from the nostalgia.

And then it ends with a short video message from Beomgyu.

“Choi Soobin, do you still want to be my real boyfriend?” he says, staring straight into the camera, at Soobin. A shy smile gracing his lips and Soobin notices that the familiar twinkle never left his eyes even through the camera screen, and it hits him just now how much he missed Beomgyu. “Because my answer is yes.”

One year. One full year of waiting for an answer.

He should be mad, being kept in the dark for so long, hung in the stagnant area between strangers and lovers. Yet all he can feel right now is the way his heart is still beating for Choi Beomgyu, yearning for him.

As the screen darkens, he brings the device and his hands to cover his face. It feels like a little too long until he gets a grip on reality again, and that’s because a pair of shoes stop right before him, visible through the gaps of his fingers covering his eyes.

“Are you crying, seriously?”

If he hadn’t been crying, _now_ he can feel the tears leak past his closed eyes at the familiar deep voice breaking the silence for him. He only lifts his gaze when he feels the presence stops right before him, looking up to Beomgyu. In his physical form. Tangible to touch.

Beomgyu’s smile disappears as he registers the tears in his eyes, turning into a panicked expression. A pair of hands clad in soft sleeves of red sweater rise up to cup Soobin’s face, thumbs brushing his tears away while he just stares at the guy.

His lips are moving, but he can’t process any words. Soobin’s brain is busy telling himself that this is real. This is Choi Beomgyu touching him and looking so concerned for him. This is Choi Beomgyu who looks even prettier than he remembers, catching his tears with his pretty fingers. It feels too much like a dream for him, that he has to confirm it.

Beomgyu’s lips are still moving, but they freeze the moment he leans in to capture them into a kiss. They taste like strawberry lip balm, melting against his lips the moment Beomgyu gets over his surprise. The soft fabric of Beomgyu’s sleeves are sneaking around his neck while the guy inches closer to him, and Soobin is finally home again.

“You’re really here,” he whispers as they part. Lips still close and breaths fogging up from the cold air. But Beomgyu is warm, especially as he makes himself comfortable with seating himself on Soobin’s lap.

It’s as though the one year never passed, and they are still a couple of idiots faking a relationship that could very much pass as a real one.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“What took you so long?” he sniffles, nose crinkling up.

This is a weird concept for him to cry in front of someone else. Soobin is not a crier, and he is not emotionally sensitive as Beomgyu, yet the blooming warmth in his chest has pushed his tearducts to rebel against him. It is the kind of warmth he always associates with Beomgyu, the one he feels mixing with the pain of missing him when he was away. Now it is intensified sevenfold as Beomgyu is back in his arms, and if it means that he gets to keep this boy, he does not mind embracing the feelings and cry once in a while.

Perhaps it’s okay to _feel_ for once.

“I’m so sorry. Please take me back?”

“You have a lot to make up to, especially after leaving me like that,” he fakes a sulky tone, only adding in the end when he spots a pout forming on the other’s lips. “ _Boyfriend_.”

Beomgyu is beaming as the word leaves his mouth, and Soobin falls in love all over again.

The answer to his own question about falling in love is that he will never hit rock bottom. Falling in love with Choi Beomgyu is a series of falling over and over again, never coming into a halt to reach the bottom. This way, he will never have to get up.

“You got something on your lips,” Beomgyu pries him away from his deep thought. A light touch on his bottom lip makes it push out into a pout, as he gives the latter a confounded look. “It’s me,” Beomgyu smiles, and the touch is replaced by another kiss.

Yeah. He is absolutely going to stay falling for a long _long_ time.

**Author's Note:**

> four subtitles are based off 4 stages of relationship. the whole fic is based on a single [gif](https://twitter.com/potemmt/status/1252141114460483584?s=20) which I think about everyday.
> 
> sorry for a whole 21k words thrown at once, leave some feedback? 💗 or a message on [twt](https://twitter.com/soogyulvr) since they mean a lot to me!
> 
> (+ thanks to hyuk for talking about this prompt and their possible dates with me!)


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